Can You Feel So Now?

November 4, 2012

Every once in a while I do something smart.  This last few weeks I have been using my Kindle to study the New Testament every day and in the last few days discovered I could "listen and read" at the same time on my Kindle.  It has been so enjoyable as I have been read and hear the words of the reader as well.  I finished the Book of Mormon again a few weeks ago and used the Kindle then but didn't know that I could also "listen.”  This has been wonderful!  I can't wait to start the Book of Mormon again and this time use this method!

Along with the scriptures I also have been reading at least one conference talk every day.  I started with April 2012 and have just gone into this last conference talks.  I then discovered that I could "watch" conference which is awesome, but I love the "listen and read" method because I can hear the words (spoken by the speakers) and read and underline special passages.  It is like having a bit of the spirit of Conference with me everyday. 

This brings me to what I wanted to talk to all of you about and encourage you to re-read, watch or listen to Elder Quintin L. Cook's talk on Saturday morning's session.  He talks about feeling the “redeeming love” as Alma proclaimed in his one of his verses:  “If ye have experience a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”

Elder Cook states that with all we have received in this dispensation-including the Restoration of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the outpouring of spiritual gifts, and the indisputable blessings of heaven – Alma’s challenge has never been more important.

It is not surprising that some in the Church believe they can’t answer Alma’s question with a resounding yes. They do not “feel so now.” They feel they are in a spiritual drought. Others are angry, hurt, or disillusioned. If these descriptions apply to you, it is important to evaluate why you cannot “feel so now.”

I think I see in several of you some discouragement and I can feel that you are struggling.  I wish I knew how to help you.  I do not know that you want my advice but I want you to know of my concern and my love for you as I watch you work out these challenges of your life. 

So here is some of the wisdom I drew from this talk and some of Elder Cook’s counsel in helping us to “feel so now” that I just wanted to point out: 

1.     Immersion in the SCRIPTURES is essential for spiritual nourishment.⁸ The word of God inspires commitment and acts as a healing balm for hurt feelings, anger, or disillusionment.⁹

2.     When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is REPENTANCE.¹⁰ Commitment and repentance are closely intertwined.  Many who are in a spiritual drought and lack commitment have not necessarily been involved in major sins or transgressions, but they have made unwise choices. Some are casual in their observance of sacred covenants. Others spend most of their time giving first-class devotion to lesser causes. Some allow intense cultural or political views to weaken their allegiance to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some have immersed themselves in Internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and, in some cases, invent shortcomings of early Church leaders. Then they draw incorrect conclusions that can affect testimony. Any who have made these choices can repent and be spiritually renewed.

3.    How we treat those closest to us is of fundamental importance. VIOLENCE, ABUSE, LACK OF CIVILITY, AND DISRESPECT IN THE HOME ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE—not acceptable for adults and not acceptable for the rising generation.

4.    My father was not active in the Church but was a remarkably good example, especially in his treatment of my mother. He used to say; “God will hold men responsible for every tear they cause their wives to shed.” This same concept is emphasized in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” It reads, ”THOSE WHO ABUSE SPOUSE OR OFFSPRING WILL ONE DAY STAND ACCOUNTABLE BEFORE GOD.”¹⁴ Regardless of the culture in which we are raised, and whether our parents did or did not abuse us, we must not physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse anyone else.¹⁵

5.    The need for civility in society has never been more important. The foundation of KINDNESS AND CIVILITY BEGINS IN OUR HOMES. It is not surprising that our public discourse has declined in equal measure with the breakdown of the family. The family is the foundation for love and for maintaining spirituality. The family promotes an atmosphere where religious observance can flourish. There is indeed “beauty all around when there’s love at home.”¹⁶

6.    Parents, the days are long past when regular, active participation in Church meetings and programs, though essential, can fulfill your sacred responsibility to TEACH YOUR CHILDREN to live moral, righteous lives and walk uprightly before the Lord.

7.    With President Monson’s announcement this morning, it is essential that this be faithfully accomplished in HOMES WHICH ARE PLACES OF REFUGE WHERE KINDNESS, FORGIVENESS, TRUTH AND RIGHTEOUSNESS PREVAIL.

8.    PARENTS MUST HAVE THE COURAGE to filter or monitor Internet access, television, movies, and music.

9.    PARENTS MUST HAVE THE  COURAGE TO SAY NO, DEFEND TRUTH, AND BEAR POWERFUL TESTIMONY. Your children need to know that you have faith in the Savior, love your Heavenly Father, and sustain the leaders of the Church. Spiritual maturity must flourish in our homes.

Elder Cook makes it very clear that we should each be kind and loving in our interactions with our families and our spouses.  I remember how I thought I was a patient person until I had my children.  Even just having Jim (who was a perfect little boy - except at times like when he took a permanent marker and drew a line all around our bedroom wall, or the time he spray painted John), I realized that I was not patient in times of stress or confusion.  It was a new experience to feel such frustration and to feel out of control.  I didn’t know I could act or more specifically react to things that went on when I was raising children – be it 1 or 8 or whatever. 

I am amazed at how patient I am now when all I really have to put up with is your dad and he behaves himself pretty well for the most part these day… if you are thinking that I really am not too patient with him – then imagine what I was like before with all of you (sometimes it was not a pretty sight).

So anyway, I am grateful for the things that Elder Cook mentioned and in reading them this morning thought I would just mention some of them to you as well because I know how difficult it is to be raising young families and to feel the stress of keeping everything together. 

I think if I could redo anything it would be to be more KIND.  Being kind and considerate in the family setting is not easy.  After all, home is the laboratory for life and mistakes are made, children and spouses are difficult sometimes, we get ornery, and we are often sick or sleep deprived, There are so many pressures and so many times when we say things or do things that just plain are UNKIND and unthoughful.  I know I often wished I could take back things that I said or did and thank goodness for the atonement and the opportunities to repent.

I am not writing this to find fault with any of you although I have seen you at your worst (or I hope it was your worst) times.  I have seen some of you over-react and lose control with your children.  I have seen some of you be downright rude to your spouse and inconsiderate (and if you wonder if I am talking about you, I probably am).  I know that you have witnessed many things that I have done that I certainly regret and over the years have tried to repent of.  If you feel that I need to tell you “I am sorry” for actions against you, I certainly express that sentiment today and want you to know that I regret having acted in such a manner that would cause you to feel bad. 

I do, however, and probably because of my own mistakes, encourage you to make changes in your own behavior that will help you feel closer to the spirit and  be more worthy for the guidance of the Holy Ghost and his presence in your life in and your family and home. 

I love each of you and hope for your success in rearing your families and in treating your spouses with the love you feel for them.  I hope that you can feel the Spirit now so you can sing the song of redeeming love with all your hearts.

I also want you to know that you are my dearest possessions.  I love each of you unconditionally and with such gratitude for my relationship with you and with your amazing families.  I am grateful for your spouses and their goodness.  I love each of them and I cherish your relationships.  Be kind to your spouses and love them with all your hearts.  (and to some or one of you – may I encourage you to find a spouse that will fulfill your life, help you in raising your children,  and bring you greater happiness …)

Believe me, I know that life is not easy.  I know that we each have our own weaknesses but remember that as we work to conquer our own weakness – those things that keep us from feeling God’s love – we will be stronger In those areas and we will come to be more like the Savior. 

Dad and I pray for all of you daily.  We love you so much. 

Love, MOM