Is it worth it?

This is from John's blog... 

Telling the Story

I had an employee come in and interview me today for a research paper she has to complete for a business class.  She wanted to know about how The Little Brick House got started and what it was like to run a small family owned business and a number of other things.  In the middle of our interview I thought it would be good to see her finished paper and possibly post it on our facebook page or website to tell the story of how this all got started.  Perhaps it is something I should simply write myself...

It is a simple story really.  When I got divorced in 2010 my children and I relocated to Cedar City to be near my family for support through a very difficult time.  I was counseled to do so by my Stake President and knew that it was the right thing to do.  That has proved to be the case.

When we first arrived in Cedar I was continuing to work for the company I worked for in Florida.  I put together commercial and residential proposals for geothermal air conditioning systems.  I would work from home and my mom would come to the house and watch the kids while I worked.  Everyday she would drive by this little brick house on 400 South that was for lease and she decided that she wanted to start an antique business.  Well, it was antiques, oddities, gift baskets and fudge.  We opened the doors in October of 2010. 

That was a fun little house and things started off just fine.  It wasn't pulling in much money everyday but people liked it and it grew in popularity.  A few months later we found ourselves in January and business was at a stand still.  We quickly realized that we needed to do something to bring people into the shop.

Across the street was an old bakery that had been foreclosed on.  Somehow the idea of starting a cafe came about and the next thing we knew we had an offer on the table with the bank and ended up with this building that was in really bad shape.  In March I began working on the building and spent quite some time just degreasing the kitchen area.  It was nasty, no, I mean really nasty.  I had demolished an old hood, cleared out an old donut fryer that was still full of oil and a donut or two, moved out other equipment and then started degreasing.  The fam started calling me Mr. Degreaser.  I went through quite a lot of it.  Amy and Dave would be in there on occasion to help with the cleaning and we had some fun times pressure washing the walls and the ceilings and, wow, it was seriously nasty work. 

Anyway, there were walls to put up, lights to put in, painting to be done, floors to refinish.  It was a major undertaking and after a few months we had the place ready to open.  We moved the antique shop over, added consignment to the operation and opened the cafe.  Things started off slow at first but it didn't take too long to get the word out and to start getting repeat customers.  The food was great, the service great and the price was quite reasonable.   Pretty soon the cafe became the main source of business.  Our small dining area had to be expanded, then it had to be expanded again and then one more time.  The kitchen got small in a hurry but somehow we managed to make it work.  We grew in popularity and lines would go out the door for people wanting to eat a Little Brick House sandwich. 

Last October we found ourselves in a difficult situation with the power company requiring us to upgrade the electrical system.  We had 30 days and then they were going to shut us down.  We did not have the resources to do it or the desire to sink more money into a building that had some major problems with the foundation.  We knew we had to make a move and happened found a competitor was going out of business and was trying to sell off equipment.  We put together a deal to buy that equipment and to take over their space.  And so at the end of November we made the move to where we are now.  It has certainly been an adventure. 

When we look at the challenges of starting  something like this, wow, they are there and there are many of them.  We started this thing we virtually no capital and that has made it a difficult thing to do financially speaking.  For quite some time we have worked for less than minimum wage.  When the resources aren't there we don't get paid.  We quickly realized that we were in business to pay suppliers and employees.  Though we were busy and customers assumed we were rolling in the dough we never really got ahead.  Something would break and we would have to repair it.  There was and is always something.  That just seems to be the way it goes for a small family business. 

Is it worth it?  Well, absolutely.  For me, financially it is challenging and we don't have a lot of extra money in our home.  What we do have and what this affords me is a certain amount of freedom to be able to be with my kids.  I walk the boys to school every morning.  I am able to attend school functions on occasion.  I can bring them in to work with me when needed and when you're a single dad trying to juggle life with three kids, that helps.  I could not get a job anywhere and have the same flexibility I have right now in critical years for my children.  Would it be nice to be paid a little more?  Absolutely, and that day will come but there are certain things that outweigh the income. 

I have enjoyed working with family.  There are moments when Dave and I are able to chat about things and before you know it we are engaged in a conversation with tears in our eyes.  Working with Amy and the folks has been a great blessing.  I would be lying if I said it was all great all the time.  It isn't.  We have our moments but I think we all understand that those times happen and we press forward quick to forgive and enjoy the time together. 

Then there are the fans, our customers.  What a tremendous blessing to have the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people.  To become friends with them, to learn about them and to love them, that is a great blessing in our lives.  I love the people.  I love to see them amazed by the food and the service.  I love to see them come back again and again.  I walk around the grocery store and see people that I know and always find pleasure in saying hello and sometimes sharing a conversation. 

Several years ago I read the book Raving Fans and when we started this thing I wanted to create something where we would gain raving fans of our company.  I think we have been successful in that for the most part.  I know there are those who don't have a great experience.  That stinks, we didn't do our job and so we regroup and try again.

It is a culture thing that needs to exist within the organization and sometimes it is a challenge to get employees to buy in.    I think that for the most part we have had good employees.  Some better than others.  Our hope is that we have employees who take it seriously and treat it like it was their own. I appreciate the employees we do have.

I don't know how good of a story that is, hopefully it didn't put you to sleep.  It is late however and I think typing it has put me to sleep. 

I have been writing a Tender Mercies account and want to add this to my blog... 

August 20, 2013

I am going to try to write down some of the things happening that I recognize as Tender Mercies…  I feel so blessed but often I forget to recognize the reasons why.  So here goes…

1.     Today Ellie Grover’s Sister, Janet, came into the Washington Café.   I was able to talk to her and reminisce about Ellie and learn some things about the kids and how they are doing.  Ellie was my dear friend – a kindred spirit.  She passed away about 18 years ago but I still remember her as if it were yesterday.  A true blessing in my life and I was glad to remember her with her dear sister.

2.     Also Mike and Liana were here for a couple of days and it was such a joy to be with them.  Mike is such a dear soul and he tries so hard to do thoughtful things, not just for Jim and me but for all of his siblings.  They went all the way to Tremonton to see Laura and family, then to Cedar to see John, Jay, and Dave and families, then down here to Washington to visit with Amy and us and finally will go see Jim Clo and kids before heading up to Carson.  Was delightful to spend time with them.

August 21, 2013

Today Peter called.  I guess he was on his way home from work.  What a special gift that was.  I don’t talk often with Pete anymore and of course I haven’t seen him or his family since last Thanksgiving so this was such a blessing to me to spend a few minutes on the phone with him.  He also sent a picture of Ollie who had met him at the car… I guess we have another little handsome man in our family!

August 25, 2013

Well, I haven’t been too good about writing my Tender Mercies this week like I had hoped.  But I am going to go back a few days and share some thoughts that I forgot to write down.

1.     On Tuesday night (Aug. 20^th) we served our first night on the Tuesday, late shift at the temple.  It was a delight and both Jim and I felt so welcomed.  Our new shift coordinators for that night are the Rackers.  They were warm and welcoming.  It was not like going the first time on Saturday – we think that is because we were prepared and had confidence so we were open to the other ordinance workers and were not apprehensive or doubtful about being there... we felt we belonged.  We also felt like they were very, very nice people and went out of their way to say hello.

2.     Since Tuesday, we served again on Friday night at the temple.  It was so full and evidentally they set a record for endowments on a shift of over 700 endowments. However, I understand that Saturday mid-shift did over 900 so the record was broken again.  The temple is so busy right now because we are closing for the next 3 weeks but also because of the new film.  The new film is outstanding and full of emotion.  I had the thought that I wish some youth who might be struggling with their testimonies could see Satan as we see him in this film.  He is cunning and changeable.  He wins over Eve by being convincing and then turns on her immediately after she has partaken of the fruit.  The portrayal is just like Satan really is and you can easily recognize that you would not want to spend any time with him – that you would naturally want to choose the right.

3.     Saturday we went to the Bear Paw and had breakfast.  It gave us some good ideas for serving breakfast when we move the restaurant to De-De’s space.  We know we want to have fresh-squeezed orange and grapefruit juice.  We also want fresh hash browns like they served at the Bear Paw.  I am also thinking that their Eggs Benedict were wonderful and they used tomatoes on them.  Also would like to serve our French toast but maybe with a twist like with Cinnamon toast or rolls like they have at Kneaders and the Kneaders syrup.  Also, Laura mentioned to me about some delicious cinnamon rolls that she just made without yeast, which I want to try as well.  Jim made some gingerbread with vanilla cream sauce tonight which was delicious and several weeks ago he made it with lemon sauce – we could offer both of those and perhaps bread pudding with vanilla sauce too.  That would of course be for dinner dessert.  Why do I call this a tender mercy- hey good food is always a tender mercy!

4.     Today is Sunday.  We attended our meetings and then interviewed with Bishop Lee for a calling as Shepherds for the 19-30 year olds that have been lost on the records…  We are looking forward to it.  It is always a stretch to deal with in-actives but our hope is to encourage them to attend their meetings whether they are in the YSA ward or in the family ward.

5.     One more thing – the Stake RS had a fireside tonight.  Sister Bundy is the Stake RS President – she is in the Washington 1^st ward.  I was delighted to note that she used her Presidency to deliver the talks for the firesides as well as giving a wonderful address herself.  I have recently been reading Sheri Dew’s book, No Doubt About It, and recognized a number of comments that came from that book.  It made me laugh because I have thought to myself while reading the book that if I had to give a talk any time in the future I would go to that book and use it.  Well she beat me to it!  It was a good meeting and another thing I noticed was that I recognized members of my new ward sitting in the audience and although I wasn’t sitting by them, I felt like I belonged to them and that was a good feeling.

6.     One last thing, I think we have a great Bishop… Phillip Lee.  He is a humble and kind man and I have enjoyed meeting with him both today and when we first moved here.  He has a sweet manner and I already know he is a great leader.

August 26, 2013

I received this note from Jim this morning… another tender mercy for me and for (lil)Jim:

Thanks for the note Mom. I wanted to share one of my tender mercies with you. As you remember, back in November I tried to secure Grandpa Jim's name for his temple work, only to discover that it had been released to the Temple file. I talked to people at the FH Library and the Temple and was told that once it was in the Temple file, that was it--I could monitor it from afar. I wasn't happy with the outcome, but I was motivated to find other family members that I could make sure the work was being done for, and I identified about 70 different people. We have been slowly working through those names--most recently on Friday night Clayton was baptized and confirmed for 6 new Griffin relatives.

On Saturday I went to the 5:30 a.m. session to participate in an endowment (I hadn't seen the new presentation yet), and after I came home thought I'd log into my FamilySearch page and see what had been done with the names I'd given to you. I noted that someone had just done a bunch of male initiatories earlier in the week (thank you to whomever did that). I also discovered that, back in July, Marien had inadvertently (with her mom's help) deleted the relationship between you and your mother, and deleted Arthur Hellberg as a person. I was able to put that back in the proper order, so that was good, too.

Well, that's a lot of background for my little miracle. I started to look for some other names, and the available-ordinances icon was highlighted next to Grandpa's entry. I assumed it was for his sealing to Marie, but I clicked it anyway, and the endowment and sealing-to-parents ordinances were listed as available. I quickly reserved them. I'm not sure what caused the change--I looked and found several others that were still listed as reserved by the Temple system (and didn't find any others that were previously reserved but now released). I count it as a tender mercy. If it's OK, I'd like to do the endowment, but thought either I could come to St. George (or one of the brothers could do it) for his sealing, with you and Dad acting as proxies for your grandparents.

Congrats on the new shifts. Sounds like you're busy. I was just released from my shift on the 17th. I'll miss it, but Clorinda and I will go back after the kids are grown up and we have time we can both commit to.

I love you.

August 27, 2013

I have just finished reading two chapters in Numbers of the Old Testament and listening to a conference talk by Elder Oaks from the October 2006 General Conference where he talks about lifting up the heavy laden.  Every day now I do this… I read 2 chapters of scripture and at least one conference talk.  I have done this for at least a year.  What great joy this brings me and what an influence it has in my outlook of life.  The other night, Jim mentioned to me that attending the temple as an ordinance worker and mingling with other Brothers and Sisters doing the same, makes him want to be a better person.  I agree, and would add that my devotional time also softens my heart and helps me want to be better and do better.  This is a tender mercy.  It has been available to me all my life but I have not always taken the time to study the words of the prophets… having my little Kindle has brought me such joy and such a desire to do and to be better.

August 30, 2013

I believe today marked the beginning of better business at the Washington LBH.  Amy and I were working alone (scary I know).  I ran to the store to get some vanilla and some lettuce (Costco).  Upon retuning I found a busy group in the restaurant and more coming, and coming, and coming.  I am not the smarted waitress around but I had to step up to it because Amy was cooking.  We ended up having a $330 lunch which exceeds most of the days we have had since June with usually 2 cooks an 2 waitresses…  It was hectic and we were both sweating but we pretty much made it.  I contribute this to a complimentary article in the Entertainment section of the newspaper that a lady, who visited with her mother several days ago, wrote.  Unfortunately, we did not know the article was coming our and although we have other servers and cooks they are all in school.  Amy is hiring a couple of fellows today which will help us get things covered and she can help with the waitressing and serving.  Anyway, as difficult as the day was (and we made another $420 in the evening) it was indeed a tender mercy and we hope will bring more people in daily.

August 31, 2013

I just read a great Conference talk given by M. Russell Ballard in the October 2006 conference.  O Be Wise.  He talks about ways to direct our lives and our service in the church to be more effective both for our own benefit and for the benefit of those we serve and work with.  Very appropriate information including 6 steps he encouraged:

First:  focus on people and principles – not on programs
Second:  be innovative (seek the inspiration of the Spirit to solve problems in ways that will best help the people we can serve).
Third: divide the work and delegate responsibility… there is a difference between getting the work done and doing the work yourself.
Fourth:  eliminate guilt.  As mortals we simply cannot do everything at once, therefore we must do all things “in wisdom and order.”
Fifth:  we need to thoughtfully allocate our resources of time, income and energy.  No matter what your family needs are or your responsibilities in the Church, there is no such thing as “done.”  There will always be more we can do…(but we need to be wise about how we go about doing ).
Sixth:  a word to leaders about extending responsibilities to members and especially to recent converts.  Everyone needs a responsibility…  What is most important in our Church responsibilities is not the statistics that are reported or the meetings that are held but whether or not individual people – ministered to one at a time just as the Savior did – have been lifted and encouraged and ultimately changed.

We must be wise with our families… wise in fulfilling our church callings…wise with our time…wise in balancing all of our responsibilities.

O be wise; what can I say more.  (Jacob 6:12)

September 4, 2013

Continuing Jim’s Tender Mercy story connected with my Dad

So, I was able to go to the Temple yesterday for Grandpa Jim. I thought I'd share my journal entry on my experience (though I'm not sure it does it justice):

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I want to share an experience from today. By way of introduction, let me share what I sent to my mom earlier this week:

Thanks for the note Mom. I wanted to share one of my tender mercies with you. As you remember, back in November I tried to secure Grandpa Jim's name for his temple work, only to discover that it had been released to the Temple file. I talked to people at the FH Library and the Temple and was told that once it was in the Temple file, that was it--I could monitor it from afar. I wasn't happy with the outcome, but I was motivated to find other family members that I could make sure the work was being done for, and I identified about 70 different people. We have been slowly working through those names--most recently on Friday night Clayton was baptized and confirmed for 6 new Griffin relatives.

On Saturday I went to the 5:30 a.m. session to participate in an endowment (I hadn't seen the new presentation yet), and after I came home thought I'd log into my FamilySearch page and see what had been done with the names I'd given to you. I noted that someone had just done a bunch of male initiatories earlier in the week (thank you to whomever did that). I also discovered that, back in July, Marien had inadvertently (with her mom's help) deleted the relationship between you and your mother, and deleted Arthur Hellberg as a person. I was able to put that back in the proper order, so that was good, too.

Well, that's a lot of background for my little miracle. I started to look for some other names, and the available-ordinances icon was highlighted next to Grandpa's entry. I assumed it was for his sealing to Marie, but I clicked it anyway, and the endowment and sealing-to-parents ordinances were listed as available. I quickly reserved them. I'm not sure what caused the change--I looked and found several others that were still listed as reserved by the Temple system (and didn't find any others that were previously reserved but now released). I count it as a tender mercy. If it's OK, I'd like to do the endowment, but thought either I could come to St. George (or one of the brothers could do it) for his sealing, with you and Dad acting as proxies for your grandparents.

So today I went to the Temple for Day Cook and Julie Stanley. They're both headed out on missions in the next couple of months. Although I'd arrived in plenty of time for the 11:30 session, when I walked in I was told that there was no room in the session and I needed to sit on the other side--I would be waiting for the 12:30 session. This was a disheartening result, but I went to Julie and Day and told them I was proud of them. Surprisingly to me, several members went and pleaded my case to the 1st Counselor in the Temple Presidency. Several minutes later, Brother Malone (who was my shift coordinator for the last year of my shift) came and put his arm on my shoulder. He was officiating our session, and he asked me to come and talk with him He then told me that a "spot had come available" and that I could go on the 11:30 session. I wasn't sure what had happened, but when it was time for the veil, Sister Gebs came in to present at the veil. I hadn't noticed that she wasn't in the session. She had volunteered her seat so that I could go through, because she knew what relationship I had with those two kids. I was so very moved by her compassion.

The session was perhaps the single most moving experience I've ever had in the Temple. I was able to take Grandpa Jim through so he could receive his endowment. I kept reflecting on the remarkable circumstances that brought me to that point. I have no idea how his name ended up being released by the temple system, but it was. I though about him throughout the session, remembering particularly when we would visit him and Grandma Marie in their home in San Leandro, and he would take me (and probably John and Pete) down to the clubhouse to play shuffleboard or putt on the greens. As he grew older, we wouldn't get out on our visits, but he was always kind and generous towards me. I remembered how he and Grandma Marie would call each other "Mac", and how intrigued I was by that. I love him dearly. I believe that as a result of that relationship, the endowment session was much more personal to me. I realized that my grandpa was going through the Temple. At the veil I was nearly overcome with the emotion of standing as his proxy as he conversed with the Lord. The words had remarkable meaning to me as I realized those covenants that he was making had a direct impact on me, personally, as his posterity. Later, in the dressing room, Brother Malone grabbed me and (jokingly) told me that I wasn't allowed to be emotional at the veil. He was presenting two stations away and said that he could feel the emotion from me. I was able to share with him the miracle of being able to be there for Grandpa Jim.

Right before Lehi is able to partake of the fruit of the tree, he says that he was praying that the Lord "would have mercy [upon him], according to the multitude of his tender mercies." I had not been pleading for the tender mercies that were granted to me. I am certainly not worthy of them, but I was truly blessed by them.

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That is all. Hope you guys are doing well. I love you.

Jim

Wow, this is a wonderful story and such a great blessing to me to have my Dad’s endowment finally completed.  I have had his picture come up in my dresser and in my jewelry box and several other places over the last year or so.  I knew this was a message to me to get this work done, but then Jim told me that his paperwork had gone into the church system.  I feel so blessed that Jim was able to participate in this endowment and even more so because I too now realize that my father has been given the opportunity to accept this work.  I look forward to being sealed to him and to my mother.

September 8, 2013

I am stretching hard for a tender mercy today.  I know I should have one hanging on here but I find that I have wonderful weeks of gifts like above and then I seem to go into a hard time when I feel overwhelmed and a bit unhappy.  So I am going to work at turning my unhappiness into a positive.  I don’t know if everyone does this but I seem to.  In my low periods I find that I would just like to veg and not go anywhere or talk to anyone.  So here is the mercy – going to the temple each week forces me to do something that I can’t get out of and therefore as I attend and complete my calling, I am blessed.  I feel better, I feel loved, I feel accomplished and I know I am a daughter of God. 

I was going to complain about being new in my ward and watching as no one talks to me or gets excited when they see me.  I hate that… but then I remembered that today my friend Sharon talked to me and remembered that we met in the Laundromat and had a nice visit.  She is all alone and I am sure she could use me as a friend.  My neighbor Linda signaled to me and asked me to sit by her in Relief Society and although she might not be my choice for a best friend, she is a very nice lady and is welcoming.  And my friend from the temple, Sandra, came and sat by us in Relief Society and she has been so welcoming and has made sure I meet people and has volunteered to take me to the Stake RS Conference etc. 

So there you go… I might not know everyone, and some people may not care if they know me or not, but there are certainly sisters that have gone out of their way to be kind to the new girl on the block.  Now I  need to follow their lead and look for other sisters in the same circumstance as I am. 

Deuteronomy – here is another tender mercy.  I am now in Deuteronomy in the Old Testament.  It is a great book!  It summarizes all the things Moses dealt with as he discussed them in the earlier books but doesn’t go into all the detail!  I love it and because I am also reading the Institute manual at the same time I am learning more about some of the things that went on with the Israelites and why.  Like I was having a very hard time with the fact that the Lord would have the Israelites kill a whole group of people including the women and children but then studying in the manual I read that these people were very, very evil – like unto Sodom and Gomorrah and therefore they needed to be wiped out so that the Israelites would not be influenced  by or intermarry with them.  So as I was reading earlier in the Old Testament I thought there was no answer to my questions and I prayed that I would beable to come to terms with this… then in reading in Deuteronomy I read about it again and then in the study guide it explained.  I was grateful because I had faith that the Lord would answer my questions and he did!  Awesome. 

Mike the Man

I received these thoughts from Mike after I wrote about Elder Cooke's thoughts.  I appreciate his concerns and insights.  Start from the bottom up...

 

I found this quote and it may just be what I was needing to see.

 

“These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives everything its value.”

-Thomas Paine

He wrote this in December 1776, a few months after the Declaration of Independence and after the 20,000 US soldiers were reduced to 2,000.  A few died but most had left because their contract was up and felt justified leaving with the doubts from George Washington's army being unsuccessful up to that point.  Paine pondered those circumstances and wrote this on the head of a drum.   He wrote more than this and I'm sure it's worthy of quotation, but I needed this quote in particular.  I heard it on the Glenn Beck show today and felt it was heaven talking to me.  I have taken lightly the liberty and benefits of our country, it has been given to me and I haven't had to truly pay for it.  I think the principle applies to much of what we have talked about this week in paying the price to read and study the scriptures and in becoming a true disciple of Christ. 

I am fearful.  I hope I can live up to the task -both in liberty and in the Gospel.  This may the turning point of my life.  This may be divine providence -God allowing certain things to take place to try men's souls, to cause them to rise above the failure that is in their hearts.  I wished for men to make the right decisions, but I believe God must now compel us to be humble.  

I have to go to class, but I wanted  to share this with you.  

Mike (again)  

   

On Wed, Nov 7, 2012 at 10:27 AM, Michael Fontano <michaelfontano@gmail.com> wrote:
I thought I understood hearts failing until last night.  Honestly, I can't believe we are destroying ourselves.  I guess I have to think that the church is still true in Europe.  How could this stuff happen.  The strange thing is that I felt so amazing about Romney and felt all was going to be good -perhaps the feeling was more about things being okay in the long run.  Time will surely tell, but I can't help but think your email came as a preemptive strike against this confusion. 

I was glad to see Chris Stewart won as did your Governor.  I can't believe the State of Nevada though, although Dean Heller did get elected to the senate, so that's a silver lining.  I'm sure you really don't want to have a political conversation, but my life appears to be in conflict today. 

Talk to you later,

Mike

On Tue, Nov 6, 2012 at 10:37 AM, Kathleen Fontano <kathleenfontano@yahoo.com> wrote:

Mike:  I love you so much!

---

From: Michael Fontano <michaelfontano@gmail.com>
To: Kathleen Fontano <kathleenfontano@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, November 5, 2012 1:58 PM
Subject: Re: Dear Family

I wish I had something profound to say other than thank you, but it seems fitting to me to say.  I appreciate this email and even though I thought "she's not talking to me", I think it all applies.  I have had a goal to do what you're doing -reading the scriptures and conference reports everyday- but continue to put lesser things above them.  Everything else you have said really is speaking to me.  Your review of Elder Cook's talk was such a great lesson on the need to review them intently.  I watched it but don't think I recalled much of what he said (of the years and years of conference talks I've heard I wonder how much I am really missing.) 

 

I think that it is so relevant to these times.  I'm often awakened to the prophesy of D&C 88:91, that "...surely, men's hearts shall fail them..."  I can see it in the world around us, but perhaps more in my own life and thoughts.  This talk is an antidote to those doubts.  I yelled at the kids on the bus the other day and ended up feeling really bad about it.  It was on a Friday and I decided I needed to ask them to forgive me for my actions.  I spent the entire weekend wrestling with the idea that I didn't need to really ask them to forgive me, I mean I was the authority and blah, blah, blah.  I have no doubt a 33 year old should have this lesson down, but I don't.  I fought against myself for quite a while.  I ended up doing it and I was so amazed at the feelings of peace that came into my heart.  Then this girl said it wasn't a big deal and that she wasn't upset by what I had done and she forgave me.  The thing is that it was really one kid that was upset and made it known that I was rude -he was the one not forgiving me after I apologized.  This girl telling me she forgave me, even though she said it wasn't a big deal, helped me to keep working on this other kid. 

 

This is kind of a ramble but I became aware of the fact that I haven't really had the Holy Ghost with me.  I have been lazy in spiritual things and have failed my wife in many ways.  I thought I was amazingly patient too, then I got married. 

 

Thanks again for the letter, so for the somewhat random thoughts here.  I guess I wanted to let you know that perhaps the feelings you had to write this were for me and me alone.  So I appreciate you not making me feel so isolated as to bring in the rest of the family for my sensitive feelings. 

 

Mike

Can You Feel So Now?

November 4, 2012

Every once in a while I do something smart.  This last few weeks I have been using my Kindle to study the New Testament every day and in the last few days discovered I could "listen and read" at the same time on my Kindle.  It has been so enjoyable as I have been read and hear the words of the reader as well.  I finished the Book of Mormon again a few weeks ago and used the Kindle then but didn't know that I could also "listen.”  This has been wonderful!  I can't wait to start the Book of Mormon again and this time use this method!

Along with the scriptures I also have been reading at least one conference talk every day.  I started with April 2012 and have just gone into this last conference talks.  I then discovered that I could "watch" conference which is awesome, but I love the "listen and read" method because I can hear the words (spoken by the speakers) and read and underline special passages.  It is like having a bit of the spirit of Conference with me everyday. 

This brings me to what I wanted to talk to all of you about and encourage you to re-read, watch or listen to Elder Quintin L. Cook's talk on Saturday morning's session.  He talks about feeling the “redeeming love” as Alma proclaimed in his one of his verses:  “If ye have experience a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”

Elder Cook states that with all we have received in this dispensation-including the Restoration of the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the outpouring of spiritual gifts, and the indisputable blessings of heaven – Alma’s challenge has never been more important.

It is not surprising that some in the Church believe they can’t answer Alma’s question with a resounding yes. They do not “feel so now.” They feel they are in a spiritual drought. Others are angry, hurt, or disillusioned. If these descriptions apply to you, it is important to evaluate why you cannot “feel so now.”

I think I see in several of you some discouragement and I can feel that you are struggling.  I wish I knew how to help you.  I do not know that you want my advice but I want you to know of my concern and my love for you as I watch you work out these challenges of your life. 

So here is some of the wisdom I drew from this talk and some of Elder Cook’s counsel in helping us to “feel so now” that I just wanted to point out: 

1.     Immersion in the SCRIPTURES is essential for spiritual nourishment.⁸ The word of God inspires commitment and acts as a healing balm for hurt feelings, anger, or disillusionment.⁹

2.     When our commitment is diminished for any reason, part of the solution is REPENTANCE.¹⁰ Commitment and repentance are closely intertwined.  Many who are in a spiritual drought and lack commitment have not necessarily been involved in major sins or transgressions, but they have made unwise choices. Some are casual in their observance of sacred covenants. Others spend most of their time giving first-class devotion to lesser causes. Some allow intense cultural or political views to weaken their allegiance to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some have immersed themselves in Internet materials that magnify, exaggerate, and, in some cases, invent shortcomings of early Church leaders. Then they draw incorrect conclusions that can affect testimony. Any who have made these choices can repent and be spiritually renewed.

3.    How we treat those closest to us is of fundamental importance. VIOLENCE, ABUSE, LACK OF CIVILITY, AND DISRESPECT IN THE HOME ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE—not acceptable for adults and not acceptable for the rising generation.

4.    My father was not active in the Church but was a remarkably good example, especially in his treatment of my mother. He used to say; “God will hold men responsible for every tear they cause their wives to shed.” This same concept is emphasized in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” It reads, ”THOSE WHO ABUSE SPOUSE OR OFFSPRING WILL ONE DAY STAND ACCOUNTABLE BEFORE GOD.”¹⁴ Regardless of the culture in which we are raised, and whether our parents did or did not abuse us, we must not physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse anyone else.¹⁵

5.    The need for civility in society has never been more important. The foundation of KINDNESS AND CIVILITY BEGINS IN OUR HOMES. It is not surprising that our public discourse has declined in equal measure with the breakdown of the family. The family is the foundation for love and for maintaining spirituality. The family promotes an atmosphere where religious observance can flourish. There is indeed “beauty all around when there’s love at home.”¹⁶

6.    Parents, the days are long past when regular, active participation in Church meetings and programs, though essential, can fulfill your sacred responsibility to TEACH YOUR CHILDREN to live moral, righteous lives and walk uprightly before the Lord.

7.    With President Monson’s announcement this morning, it is essential that this be faithfully accomplished in HOMES WHICH ARE PLACES OF REFUGE WHERE KINDNESS, FORGIVENESS, TRUTH AND RIGHTEOUSNESS PREVAIL.

8.    PARENTS MUST HAVE THE COURAGE to filter or monitor Internet access, television, movies, and music.

9.    PARENTS MUST HAVE THE  COURAGE TO SAY NO, DEFEND TRUTH, AND BEAR POWERFUL TESTIMONY. Your children need to know that you have faith in the Savior, love your Heavenly Father, and sustain the leaders of the Church. Spiritual maturity must flourish in our homes.

Elder Cook makes it very clear that we should each be kind and loving in our interactions with our families and our spouses.  I remember how I thought I was a patient person until I had my children.  Even just having Jim (who was a perfect little boy - except at times like when he took a permanent marker and drew a line all around our bedroom wall, or the time he spray painted John), I realized that I was not patient in times of stress or confusion.  It was a new experience to feel such frustration and to feel out of control.  I didn’t know I could act or more specifically react to things that went on when I was raising children – be it 1 or 8 or whatever. 

I am amazed at how patient I am now when all I really have to put up with is your dad and he behaves himself pretty well for the most part these day… if you are thinking that I really am not too patient with him – then imagine what I was like before with all of you (sometimes it was not a pretty sight).

So anyway, I am grateful for the things that Elder Cook mentioned and in reading them this morning thought I would just mention some of them to you as well because I know how difficult it is to be raising young families and to feel the stress of keeping everything together. 

I think if I could redo anything it would be to be more KIND.  Being kind and considerate in the family setting is not easy.  After all, home is the laboratory for life and mistakes are made, children and spouses are difficult sometimes, we get ornery, and we are often sick or sleep deprived, There are so many pressures and so many times when we say things or do things that just plain are UNKIND and unthoughful.  I know I often wished I could take back things that I said or did and thank goodness for the atonement and the opportunities to repent.

I am not writing this to find fault with any of you although I have seen you at your worst (or I hope it was your worst) times.  I have seen some of you over-react and lose control with your children.  I have seen some of you be downright rude to your spouse and inconsiderate (and if you wonder if I am talking about you, I probably am).  I know that you have witnessed many things that I have done that I certainly regret and over the years have tried to repent of.  If you feel that I need to tell you “I am sorry” for actions against you, I certainly express that sentiment today and want you to know that I regret having acted in such a manner that would cause you to feel bad. 

I do, however, and probably because of my own mistakes, encourage you to make changes in your own behavior that will help you feel closer to the spirit and  be more worthy for the guidance of the Holy Ghost and his presence in your life in and your family and home. 

I love each of you and hope for your success in rearing your families and in treating your spouses with the love you feel for them.  I hope that you can feel the Spirit now so you can sing the song of redeeming love with all your hearts.

I also want you to know that you are my dearest possessions.  I love each of you unconditionally and with such gratitude for my relationship with you and with your amazing families.  I am grateful for your spouses and their goodness.  I love each of them and I cherish your relationships.  Be kind to your spouses and love them with all your hearts.  (and to some or one of you – may I encourage you to find a spouse that will fulfill your life, help you in raising your children,  and bring you greater happiness …)

Believe me, I know that life is not easy.  I know that we each have our own weaknesses but remember that as we work to conquer our own weakness – those things that keep us from feeling God’s love – we will be stronger In those areas and we will come to be more like the Savior. 

Dad and I pray for all of you daily.  We love you so much. 

Love, MOM

FEEL GREAT IN 8!

Feel Great in Eight! is the diet I have been on for the last 8 weeks... final weigh in was this morning and I lost 2.5 inches and 7 lbs.  I know that isn't great but the diet was easy and fun.  It is a team effort and although my team mates were not so excited about it (Dave, Pete and team leader Jay of the dino-mights) I felt like it was a perfect plan for me.  I had to exercise every day, read my scriptures, say my prayers, not eat after 8 and have atleast 5 helpings of fruits and veggies every day. I also had a list of healthy and unhealthy foods to abide by and I had a calendar of good projects to focus on.  It kept me on the straight and narrow and I always enjoy checking off a list.  I am talking Susan into doing it next time around - I think it will be helpful therapy for her!

Well, I need to get on to work but thought I would just put my thoughts down on this last exercise of my life.  Jim and I are heading for California at the end of the week - we'll be going to Disneyland and then on a cruise to SF, Santa Barbara, Catalina Island and Ensenada - I hope I can keep that weight off! 

THE BOOK OF MORMON

Tomorrow, Sunday October 7th, I will finish reading the Book of Mormon.  I have read the Book of Mormon many times and about 9 times since 2002.  That year I was in the Relief Society Presidency and I made up a chart that I used to encourage the sisters to do a summer read-a-thon.  I completed my reading that summer by filling out the chart and have filled out the same chart for all of these times since marking a notch for each additional reading.  This time however I have been reading on the Kindle and so I got a new chart... I just checked on my old yellow chart and this was my 10th reading.  I am pleased that I have been able to do that.  I will take breaks in between or read the D&C or other scripture and that is good but I always feel best when I am reading in the Book of Mormon and I like it when I read several chapters a day so that I get some fluency.  I wish I could say that I know it so well now but I don't and actually I don't know that I need to because I feel it is the spirit of the book that makes such a difference in my life.  I love the doctrine and I learn more each time, but the spirit whispers comfort and guidance to me each time I read it.  I do not know what I would do without the blessing of the scriptures.
This morning I listened to the first session of the 182nd semi annual conference of the church.  It was an especially wonderful session.  President Monson announced that missionaries would be able to leave a 18 for men and 19 for women.  Having just served in the university stake I see such wisdom in that.  So many of these kids are drifting during that year and this will help them just get ready and go.  I remember my boys - Jim, John, Pete and Mike all went shortly after the graduated and I guess Dave did also (within 6 months) and they just planned on their missions after graduation.  I don't know Jay's feelings, I know he had a year of college before he went because his birthday was in July but I think he would have been ready and willing to go.
Brother Bowen talked on loss of a loved one and it was a special talk - I think because of Richard's recent passing and my heart being tender toward Susan at this time.  I am sure his talk gave her comfort.  Also Sister Dibb talked about the young woman she met with a tee shirt that said :"I'm a Mormon - are you?" and she created a statement:  I'm a Mormon - I know it, I live it, I love it.  It was a great talk.  Also a talk on the Holy Ghost was amazing as well as talks by Elder Nelson, Elder (can't remember his name but I can see his face, and President Ukhdorf who spoke on no regrets - love life, live for others etc.  All were so good - look forward to the next sessions!

A Long Month - A Great Friend

This has been a long, long month and it really only started getting long and hard on the 15th.  I will never really forget the moment.  Jim got a phone call from Bishop Lundquist.  He was actually still in bed.  I heard him say "Richard Jensen?" and I had the worst feeling ever. 
Richard had been in Idaho working on the school house.  He went for an early morning walk or jog and was found on the side of the road about 6:40 am.  He had a massive heart attack.  I do not think that words could ever express how profoundly this affect our lives and how much it will affect us for so many years to come. 

Richard and Susan are surely our closest friends ever.  Jim and Richard have always enjoyed each other's company and this was a blessing since Susan and I hit it off so well right from the beginning.  Susan and I worked in Relief Society together and then in Young Women.  Jim and Richard enjoyed music and started their trio with Zhailaa and then later with Abi.  We loved to play Hearts and other games together.  We took a number of trips including the California Coast in Cuyucas one winter, cruise to Mexico, cruise to Alaska, several weekend trips to Salt Lake City during Christmas and also a week in Hawaii, several days in Park City and a week in Southern California.  We were planning for some time in Hilo, Hawaii at a beach house that the Jensens had access to.  We often said that we were glad we took those trips together even though we couldn't really afford them - and we especially appreciate that time now that we can no longer do it.

My heart has hurt so badly these last weeks:  for Richard of course and yet I know that he is in a better place and is happy.  I grieve for those of us left behind... Susan will suffer for forever I am sure.  She is going to be sad every day and no one will ever be able to replace her husband in her life.

I know that Jim is feeling such a great loss.  Richard was his best friend ever.  I can remember hearing him often on the phone calling just to chat and laughing with Richard about something or other.  They both enjoyed their times on the stage and even their times when we would just be together and Richard would bring out the guitar or uke and start playing and they would start singing "The Fish Song" or some other favorite.  It was a source of great joy for Jim.

All of our kids have expressed thoughts of love and appreciation for the Jensens.  Uncle Richie was always so interested in them and took time to express how he cared whenever he saw them.  He was Laura's first Sunday School teacher in New Harmony and she has loved him ever since.  He always cared about Amy and David as well as the other boys.  He just had a way of making others feel important and cared about.  We spent some great times with the Jensens and I am glad for Amy's wedding at their house where we were able to gather as a family at their home and enjoy such a beautiful setting for the reception.

I have thought about how being with Richard has had an affect on my life as well.  We kidded each other a lot.  He liked to see me get riled up with Jim and would often laugh when the teasing started.  I don't know that I ever really let my guard down around other men except my family and being with Richard and Susan let me be me comfortably.  They are like family and will forever be so.  I always knew he loved us... not just Jim but me and Jim.  He was a great friend whose memory I will cherish and reverence.  He set a great example of service and kindness. 

I do not believe that he thought of himself as any great man.  He didn't acknowledge his great talents as anything special and yet he created such beautiful items, he sang with such a clear and lovely voice, he played the guitar and ukelele without ever making a mistake.  He was a great teacher and a good leader.  He was willing to serve no matter what the need.  He enjoyed people and they were drawn to him because of his sincerity and brotherly love.

I guess life will go on without him but not without his influence and the blessings we have received from knowing him.  I will forever be grateful for the times we have spent over these last years.  We will watch over Susan and try to help fill her lonely moments.  We will try to bring some joy to her life and help her in any way we can.  She is as dear as a sister to both Jim and I.  It will be our pleasure to share our time with her... we are planning on a round of 5 Crowns this week.  At least we won't have to worry that Richard will whoop us like he usually did!